Yeah, reality rears it's bastard head, and forces me to acknowledge that I've only lost a third of the weight I need to lose so that I can get a kidney. And I DO need to get a kidney, so I need to bust a move.

I've already lost 35 lbs, but I need to lose another 60. I haven't gained any while I've been on dialysis, but I haven't lost any either. Dude, dumplings, while delicious, come with a price.

And you can only weigh yourself in kilos for so long before some Canadian saunters over and translates it into pounds. Metric using bastards.

So, in a twist I can only refer to as unbelievable, which you can only truly understand if you have met me, or at least talked to me on the phone, I am in the process of finding a studio in which to do yoga.

That's right, you heard me, yoga. And before you all start chiming in about my damn chakras and whatnot, I have not decided to trod the potholed path to spiritual enlightenment. I'm pretty sure we are all happy with my current level of enlightenment, and any more would just be wasteful, not to mention annoying.

The idea is that I will take yoga through the winter, and hopefully it will put me in good shape to A) sit in the damn chair for four days a week and B) maybe take up akido or some other martial art, because I'd like to work out and increase my dangerousness at the same time.

And I don't want to hear any guff about flexibility (Hyperion, this means you!).

There is also a diet plan, but I can't dwell on that. It fills me with bitterness and hate.

You'll be pleased to know that I plan to document this journey *GACK* if for no other reason than I like to spread the pain around.